I could be replaced by an animate object

At my work I created a macro to make the next few hours of my job easier. But then I realized that the next few hours of my job could be done by a monkey. Or even one of those little plastic birds that dip up and down, it could be set up to just push a single button once every few seconds.

It's kind of depressing.

I'm consoling myself by catching a nap as I push the button over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

My girlfriend was in the bathroom sobbing loudly from the pain

My girlfriend was in the bathroom sobbing loudly from the pain, holding her damaged hand tightly against her body. I stumbled in and saw huge droplettes of blood on the floor. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my bleeding arms. I kept trying to keep pressure on all of the wounds, but I kept failing because they were on all sides of my arms. Eventually I start to feel dizzy, probably from the pain, so I go into the living room and laid down on a pile of clothes. Soon after she comes out, her hand already swelling from infection, and I say to her, "We need to get to a hospital." And as one of the most ridiculous things she's ever said, she replies with, "No, we'll be fine. We should just sit down and let this thing pass."

I cannot enter a title, because it is a title

The most absurd UNIX thing I've encountered:

$ rmdir zc_install/
rmdir: zc_install/: Is a directory

I don't know how to explain this to non-UNIX types. It'd be like in Windows, if you went to open a file, and instead of opening it you got an error saying, "Error: Cannot open this file, because it is a file."

I didn't know I'd have it this long

There's nothing like pulling into a gas station to get some air for your tires, and having a cop follow you in and park his car so that he's blocking you from walking away. It gets better when you think about how your car failed its last inspection, and that was six months ago. And how you also don't have insurance. And how you're supposed to be in work in 3½ hours and you have a 3½ hour drive ahead of you.

Amazingly he only wanted to see my license. He had run my plate and the actual owner of the car had his license suspended. Luckily, my license is good now after my experience with the DMV.

Amazing how close that was. Time for a new car.