True Story & Random Quote

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


The original Tetris instructors

It's not even the fact that there are different versions of Tetris, or that they've changed the gameplay in small ways that aren't necessarily better. It's not that they managed to make the instruction manual for Tetris so confusing that it needed a two-page glossary, or even that they then didn't even alphabetize it.

It's the fact that Tetris now has a plot, and Tetris should never ever ever have needed a plot. Someone should kill Alexey Pajitnov just so he can start spinning in his grave.

A TetrinaughtIn case you're curious, your mighty little adventure is this: Six tetrinaughts have been sent out on a mission to unlock the secret of the Tetrion stargates in order to escape your dying Minos homeworld and start terraforming other little tetroid friendly worlds. You play a tetrinaught, I think. You even have your own customizable tetrian avatars, that sit there and watch your falling blocks like a cat watching a dustbunny.

It'd be like opening up a chess tournament with a monologue on the mighty battles of the proud white kings versus the gloomy black knights.

Was there really a point in the redesign when some manager stood up and said "Y'know, I think more people would play Tetris if only they had a story to latch onto." I just really don't understand it.

In related news, I miss Howard & Nester. Here's hoping for a comeback tour.


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